Message from Shoi...

Hi

Good to have you join us for this week's issue. To our new subscribers, a very warm welcome to in-the-loop.

On the subject of warm, quite a few people have mentioned to me this past week how they've been enjoying the beautiful spring weather. Sounds like the perfect setting to schedule some time-outs from work, no?!

As a recovering workaholic/perfectionist, I understand just how difficult it is to stop resisting and start appreciating the practice and culture of really taking time out -- "Smelling the flowers" can be so much more than just a sensory experience. Or sitting on the porch seeing the storm break, listening to the falling rain and wind -- It essentially boils down to giving myself permission to take a breather and completely leave work behind for little while. And this recharges my batteries, sparks creativity and brings on inspiration like almost nothing else can. Being relaxed in this manner, I've found more solutions to problems than working/re-working them anxiously in front of my pc haven't been able to produce. Also, some of my best design works have been created away from my workstation. It's a very satisfying feeling and I find that I'm working better now by working in a more relaxed way.

And... the beauty of it all is that these breaks can be just a mere few minutes, or a couple of hours/days/etc... whatever feels right to you at the time.

Today's Article from Ray...

Ray shares some of his thoughts from his encounters with chess competitions (he's been coaching his son, Mark, for chess tournaments for several years now) in this issue's feature article -- There are some parallels to what he's written in his previous articles/series. I trust you'll enjoy the read.

NB: Readers from Southeast Asia, do drop us an email and introduce yourself! -- Some of Ray's new business initiatives cover this region, and there may be potential business opportunities to explore together.

Advertising That Goes On and On and On...

Ray Siew is also publishing a viral ebook "Inner Child - Spirituality & Business" and there will be limited sponsorship advertising spots inside this book -- Get more details here

I believe this is the BEST place to invest your advertising bucks: This viral ebook (with your sponsor ads inside) contains special features that fuel self-targetting and onward/ongoing viral promotions -- In short, you get to enjoy a never-ending advertising campaign... and your ads get to continuously circumnavigate the www. You can't ask for better online ad exposure (or get better value for money).

Shoi's Pick for Mother's Day...

If you're looking for that really special Mother's Day gift (and a meaningful message to go with it).... I can't think of anything more perfect than "You're Beautiful" -- In today's Shoi's Pick, I'd like to introduce you to Ali Shenk and her handcrafted originals: Jewelry that lets a woman celebrate the beautiful uniqueness of who she is.

If you like what I'm doing in Shoi's Pick as well as the values reflected in our ezine, and you personally know of any designers/artists/artisans who'd make a great feature here... do refer them to us. Thanks!

Thanks for sharing your time with us... have a truly blessed day.

Editor

in-the-loop™ Ezine

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Thoughts of a Chess Dad

Hi

I'm still a little under the weather but can manage a few hours' work before tiring. I was going to answer some of the questions posed to me from the series, but I don't think I'm quite up to it yet. I have this little test I perform on myself -- As some of you know, I'm a bridge enthusiast, so I normally play a couple of hands online to see the level of problem-solving my head is at before important meetings or decisions. If it's not high, then I try not to commit to any major decision for the day. It's low today and I think your questions deserve my full attention.

I'm normally careful about not over-doing things with my history of bronchitis, so for today let me tell you a little story about the recent chess competition. I think within the story there may be answers to some of the questions posed in the series as well.

Three years ago my son, Mark, entered a chess competition for his school for the under-12 category. He emerged State champ. I have been his coach. Believe it or not, that was the easy part. Having no previous experience, he just played his heart out and won. The next year was a different experience. As State champ he now had to defend his title. That was when fear crept in. There was also an added problem of an over-inflated ego. I believe the two are related. With the ego comes the fear.

So I put down a set of rules.

1. To be gracious in victory or in defeat.
   
   
2. To try to maintain equanimity under all conditions.
   
   
3. Never to cheat, lie, bend the rules, manipulate or intimidate your opponents in the course of any competition. Every victory is a result of being the better chess player and this must be achieved without compromising our values of honesty and integrity.
   
   
4. Never allow your dignity to be compromised.

Tall order. Yes, it was tough, for him and for me. But every time he won his spirit soared for it was never tainted with guilt of having won unfairly and in every defeat we knew we had more to learn.

We became a very tight team. We shared our inner fears, we traded strengths and we learned to communicate clearly and accurately with trust despite intense pressure. He is 14 now and it's been quite a journey for the both of us.

Over the years I have watched others travel down a different path. They manipulated, bent and twisted the rules for their own ends and I have watched their spirits shrivel year after year. They huddle a little more each year, conspiring their little schemes. And I believe each year they move a little further away from the goal. This is my belief: A CHAMPION can never be produced this way. By doing this, you rob him of his self-esteem, his sense of accomplishment. A victory can never be sweet if it is tainted by misdeed.

Last year, Mark came in second for the under-15 category, and this year he got third in the State finals. However this year, he may not represent the State in the Nationals as there is now a new ruling, and I don't understand what the criteria for selection are. In the past, the top 4 players in the State finals would represent the State for the Nationals. But this year, the top 8 players are forced to play a new round of selection, and I am told that selection will not be based on the best player but there will now be new criteria for "discipline", "physical fitness", etc. It's all rather hush-hush and no outside witnesses are allowed.

And so, what can we do under these circumstances? I don't believe we should participate in anything without understanding the rules. Yet, Mark had trained hard, fought his games with strength of spirit despite a fever and a new ruling that cost him his second game in the 4-day tournament... and yet he still got third placing. My belief is this -- If he is meant to be Champion, then nothing will stop him. If he is stopped in this arena through surreptitious machinations, then he will find another arena to win, if it is within him. That will be his journey through life to find himself. But admittedly, it is something painful for a father to watch.

So what is my role? To stand by his side till he is able to stand tall by himself. For one day, he too will become a man. And if you are wondering if I am pushing my agenda on him, the answer is no. My agreement with him is this.....Son, I will stand by you so long as you want this, so long as you work for this, so long as the passion remains and so long that this is done without sacrificing your dignity and integrity; for it requires sacrifice from the both of us for you to achieve this. My advice is not to let them take away your passion, damage your spirit, by becoming like them. That may seem the easier route, but at the end of the day, they will never be champions. But really, it's up to you.

And is he still big-headed? A little, although he is much more humble now. After all, I have said before that real humility is the ultimate expression of deep confidence... and he is yet still 14.

Business Development

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Credit: Photograph of Ali Shenk by Grace Huang

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