| Message from Shoi... |
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Hi
Shantaram, anyone? I read this book by Gregory David Roberts some months back. There's going to be a film based on this book, with Johnny Depp playing the lead (he's also co-producing it with Brad Pitt). It's definitely going on my must-watch list. The autobiographical novel is about a heroin addict and robber from Down Under, who escapes prison, and makes his way to Mumbai (Bombay). There he re-invents himself by starting a medical clinic in the slums. He's befriended by a taxi driver and a Mumbai mafia chief. His "new" life takes him from the Mumbai slums to the city's underworld, prison (again), even Bollywood and gun-running in Afghanistan. He finds love, redemption, a purpose, heartbreak and ultimately, his own inner salvation. It was one of those books where I laughed, cried, despaired, rejoiced and couldn't put down... so immersed in the colorful, endearing characters, their vulnerability, their story. Roberts sees with such fresh eyes, beauty in the mundane. Aside from being beautifully written, another reason why I could connect deeply with this story was because I've done my own share of running away, re-inventing myself, and starting on the up-and-down journey towards self-discovery. If I'm indulging in a sentimental moment today, it's because eMasters turns 5 this June.... and eMasters represents a significant, turning point in my life. After finding no way out of a personal and financial crisis that started in the late '90s, I ran towards the www, hoping to find there, a haven, a new beginning and a place to re-invent myself. Nothing could have prepared me for the challenges doing business on the net brings! The easier option would have been to run away again. Which I did, for awhile. But I'm glad I came back fighting. The hardest lesson I've ever had to learn was that running away achieves zero, nada, zilch. It is only in the confronting and conquering of my fears, and the choices I make in moments of adversity, that I am discovering my own inner salvation... lies within myself. And, eMasters was/is the training ground and battle arena all rolled into one. It's my baby as well as my teacher. It's an outlet for my creative expression. And, it represents an accurate gauge of how I'm progressing in life's journey. eMasters' Birthday Bash with Special Treats for You...!To celebrate our 5th year on the www, we'll be giving out special Birthday treats to our readers in every June issue of in-the-loop. Our way of saying "Thanks!" for your support and friendship. Hope you like the Birthday Bash Goodies we've chosen for you in today's issue. News & Views from Ray...Ray stumbled upon more interesting gems last week whilst reflecting on the progress of his "Inner Child" ebook -- He'd like to share his thoughts with you today in "Ray's Musings" on illusions. One of our readers also sent us her comments on Ray's writings (Thanks, Hazel) -- Do check it out, together with Ray's reply, in our Reader's Feedback segment below. Speak again soon... Have a beautiful week ahead, and blessed be. 
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Food for Thoughtis acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do. Change is not something you do, it's something you allow. ~ Will Garcia ~ There is that part of ourselves that feels ugly, deformed, unacceptable. That part, above all, we must learn to cherish, embrace, and call by name. ~ Macrina Wiederkehr ~ It is a very funny thing about life - if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it. ~ W. Somerset Maugham ~ Want Your Own Daily Dose of Inspiration? Subscribe to Daily Contemplation or visit website for Bodhi Fellowship |
| Ray's Musings... |
IllusionsI write because I need to learn. Even as I'm working on the eBook, illusions are being spun. The book should be about 30 plus pages, a new section will give a clearer picture of what I'm trying to say, there are sections that will need re-working... but I want to save what I have spent so many hours working out. Then there are doubts. What if the work is no good? Distractions...... So what does my inner child tell me? Trust in me. Go with the flow. Don't try to fit a round peg into a square hole. If there are parts that need re-working, then so be it. Do not resist or control the work. Don't listen to the doubts or entertain the distractions, they are only illusions. 
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| Reader's Feedback |
Comment from Hazel...I'm responding on this loop, because I wanted to mention my unease at your use of the word 'laziness' in connection with children. (inner or actual) I'm guessing that your précis of what you said to your son is just that - with all the pauses and thinking and exchange cut out for clarity - but even so, it's a bit worrying, when you're holding out your ideas as a kind of ideal. I read your inital article on the inner child and winced at the use of the word 'lazy' there. Funny, what you were saying about control and so on reminds me of a section in one of Scott Peck's books, maybe you recognise it. Scotty said he and Lily (his wife at the time) were telling some friends about their controlling parents. Then they said in all seriousness, 'We've learnt not to do that, we're not controlling of our children.' So the friends look at them in utter disbelief, and say, what? and Scotty and Lily said really, we aren't pushing them into anything. SO the friends pointed out that, while Scott and Lily may not be pushing their kids into any particular activity, college course or career, they sure as hell were pushing them. The message was 'whatever you choose to do, we expect you to be excellent at it.' Scotty finished that section (as I recall) by deciding that while having high expectations was not bad in itself, having unconscious high expectations - hidden, in other words - was as damaging as having explicit expectations and forcing them on your child. Anyway, thought you might be interested. take care, Hazel Ray's reply...Hi Hazel Further to my reply to you, I would like to expand on my understanding of coaching. In performance coaching, a very important cornerstone is in identifying the goal -- A goal which is unrealistic is very damaging. Also, it is very important that the goal is the expressed wish of the "coachee" and not one that is imposed. So I see my role as, first and foremost, to protect the spirit of my coachee ie. a fair evaluation of performance vis a vis the goal. The goal should also never be reached by sacrificing fundamental tenets through cheating, ungracious behaviour, etc. To do so would be to risk short-term gain at the expense of the inner spirit (where the true guide lies). Another important aspect is that I do not put a time frame in the goal-setting. This is fundamentally because it is not realistic to do so. When we set out on an important goal, there is always the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns -- At every step of the journey, we evaluate if we have been realistic. Also there is new learning on both parties. If a new course and time frame have to be set, then so be it. However, the goal itself doesn't change unless the goal is unrealistic. That is why I normally express the goal as an IDEAL. For instance, Mark's express wish is to do well in the Nationals. I have set him goals to improve concentration by confronting his fears. He has done well in some tournaments, but in others he has allowed his fears to overwhelm him -- (I will cover more on this in my "Inner Child" ebook, in my explanation of illusions) -- It is our joint evaluation that when he can see past the illusions, and achieve clarity of mind, he is capable of amazing mental feats. However, because of the current glitches, all we can do is to fix an arbitrary target. A firmer target can only be set when he is able to carry his "own climate" ie. not affected by the negativity of the State officials, to see past the illusions of his opponents' strengths, etc. With reality checks, the spirit is not damaged and he retains (and even strengthens) his passion. Also, there must also be a clear agreement on the relationship between Coach and Coachee. Sometimes the coachee needs to be confronted because he has reneged on his agreement ie. to practise. This, I believe, is a very important lesson in life. In the case of Mark, many people besides myself have put themselves out towards helping him achieve his goal. So I believe he has a responsibility to do his part. This fosters the understanding of teamwork by appreciating the effort of others in the pursuit of a goal. So, I am given permission by Mark to play my role as a Coach, by kicking him up the bum if he is lazy. I believe that that permission is very important. Otherwise it will not work. I hope I have explained clearly how coaching works. I also acknowledge that in a father and son relationship there can be further complications, and so I have to do a lot of self-examination at all points of the relationship. With regards to excellence, my observation is that most children, unless they are damaged by some trauma, want to excel. Our job is to teach them how. If we do the job well, and the spirit is intact, then they will go through life with passion and balance (see last week's issue). Yours in community, Raymond [ Back to top ] |
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