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Hi
Had a good weekend? Mine was full of anticipation. My son's been away on 2 long school trips. And finally, after 8 hours of travel delays, I was a VERY happy mom on Sunday evening when he arrived home safe and sound. Although I got a lot of work done over these 2 weeks, the house had been strangely quiet (too quiet!) without the usual chatter and noise our 14-year old makes! And during my Sunday morning ritual---reading the Sunday papers---I came across an inspiring feature about Robert Noel Test. Test's essay "To Remember Me", published in 1978, began an extraordinary movement of awareness that started changing people's attitude towards organ donation. Here are snippets of the parts I love... " Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman. Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain. Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week. Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk... If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all prejudice against my fellow man... " What an amazing legacy, a deep appreciation of life. And that got me thinking further -- Why waít until I'm gone to make a difference (although I would like that too) -- It all begins with what I choose to do, in the here and now... Can I show a little more kindness today? Be understanding, not judgmental? Lend a helping hand (and not count the cost)? Offer moral support, a listening ear, my time, talent? Take a stand against injustice? Be less wrapped up in myself, more aware of another's reality, more sensitive to another's discomfort? Even though I may never do a Mother Theresa, small opportunities to make a DIFFERENCE come every day -- Opportunities to express love, integrity, courage, creativity -- It's like a mini "living legacy" that you can impart to someone, every single day... and that's pretty awesome too. eMasters' Birthday Bash Continues...!There'll be special Birthday treats for our readers in EVERY June issue of in-the-loop -- So remember to check out the Birthday Bash goodies we've specially chosen for you in today's issue. Last week's Birthday Bash Contest winners are... Liz Canham and Ken Brese -- Liz and Ken respectively won over $3,000 and $2,000 worth of software + ebooks as well as a Discount voucher each. Congratulations! I'll be emailing the booty over to the both of you shortly. News & Views from Ray and Our Readers...What's the difference between victim and aggressor? Is there a difference? -- Let's see Ray's take on this in "Ray's Musings" further below. We also have Lisa Lamoreaux ( Thanks, Lisa! ) who sent us her thoughts on last week's reader feedback -- Check out Lisa's comments, together with Ray's reply, in today's Reader's Feedback segment below. Till we next speak... Have a blessed day and a wonderful week ahead. 
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Food for Thought~ Albert Camus ~ Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day. ~ Sally Koch ~ Encourage one another. Many times a word of praise or thanks or appreciation or cheer has kept people on their feet. ~ Charles Swindoll ~ Want Your Own Daily Dose of Inspiration? Subscribe to Daily Contemplation or visit website for Bodhi Fellowship |
| Ray's Musings... |
Victim & AggressorI once had this conversation with my son, Mark... Is there a difference between a victim and an aggressor? This is what I think. By allowing the continual assault upon us, we will generally cope by disconnecting from the pain. From the disconnection we become de-sensitised from other people's pain, and eventually, when opportunity arises the victim becomes the aggressor. So if you don't want to be an aggressor then don't a victim be. They are one and the same. 
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| Reader's Feedback |
Comment from Lisa Lamoreaux...Your reader quoted a story from the M. Scott Peck book (see last issue)...and it prompted these thoughts about the use of "words" and what I get from that story in relation to your use of the term "laziness" in the context of exploring "control" while "mentoring/coaching/parenting": There are infinite layers of meaning to be revealed when exploring the mechanics of our beliefs, particularly when hidden beneath the way we use a word...which can be an "illusion". The world of words can be freeing and at the same time a trap of sorts - a paradox - the inner child knows this from experience...he/she is understood and expresses on the level of "feelings"..."we" whoever the "we" is, then translates those expressions and feelings with words...and this is where our ego fails to champion...the ego's intent is good, but ultimately cannot translate accurately the inner child truth. In order to function in this physical world, we guide them as best we can using "words" - and they are limiting. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could communicate without them?!! Then there wouldn't be any translation going on...just pure truth! That is what art is for me...when I am free of translation, and expressing pure in-the-moment truth. It is after the expression has occurred that "translation" begins...and then the truth cannot be known. I think it is possible to "see" "hear" "touch" the truth of a creation - but not to speak of it. When someone else comes upon this creation, they get a feeling sense of that "truth" expressed...it is only when we apply words to the feelings that the translation process begins and the non-stop intellectualizing of the physical beingness of it all begins...the veil of illusion. Lisa www.Creative-Legacy.com Ray's reply...Hi Lisa Than you for your thoughtful comments. I agree that words can do more to divide than to unite and "we" have found the perfect tool to divide: Semantics. When we choose to split hairs instead of looking at the spirit of things. I define semantics as the art of avoidance. Like Bill Clinton's definition of "sex". Scott called it "throwing the baby out with the bath water". Denying the essence, the spirit. I believe that when we can communicate in both spirit and words we arrive closer to the "truth", but I hear what you are saying. Other tools of avoidance are selective hearing or reading. I won't talk further of "control" here since my understanding of control is the act of defining someone or something, and this is covered in my ebook. I can't quite see its usage in the context described. With regards to the inner child and feelings... I find that there are two sets of "feelings" -- One is generated by the inner child and another by the mind/body. There is a qualitative difference. In my own examination, the "feelings" of the inner child do not seem to come from the body, like peace, joy, etc. The feelings of the mind/body are more distinct and superficially more powerful. Feelings like euphoria, fear, lust, etc. come from the body and are what I call illusory. This differentiation does not invalidate the mind/body feelings. I will expand on this in my ebook. But let me give you a quick example here: Take fear for instance. At the first level, we need to differentiate, say, the difference between fear when someone is attacking you and threatening harm... and the illusory fear generated from an intense Chess competition. I think this is very important since very often it is those fears that stop us moving forward. Fear of exploring, fear of connecting, etc. At the next level, we may discover that there is no need for fear at all. Perhaps the beginning of faith...a mustard seed's worth. To get a sense of the power of this illusion, let's use the emotion of "passion". When we are connected to our inner child/spirit, we find a deep awareness, a focus and concentration to achieve our goals. There is tremendous power there, as the samurais have discovered, but this "feeling" is different from the concentration produced as the aftermath of anger. Examples that come to mind of people who use anger to produce concentration would be John McEnroe, Tyson, etc. Both methods produce the desired result (ie. concentration) but other problems arise when you use anger. It has an addictive quality so you may find if you use anger to produce concentration, it may color your life by tantrums before or during a stressful event. In short, the guidance and gifts of the child are towards integration and never destructive, never compartmentalised. Superficially, they may look the same and achieve the same result ie. concentration... but one is based on the reality of achieving fulfilment... and the other an illusion that brings long-term grief. Let me also expand on the word "laziness" -- Actually, it doesn't exist. What I find is when we set a goal, the universe will conspire to bring about a situation to achieve it. In Mark's case, a situation is set up where he will conjure up demons to defeat himself. Things like the opponent's reputation, his self doubts, his fears. In other words, illusions. How this is manifested is a reticence to practise, giving him a useful "explanation" in case he loses. When he can peer past them, overcome them and see "reality" then he can begin to achieve his goal of being a Chess Champion. In other words, we can't begin to measure how good or bad he is until he is able to stop defeating himself. And the universe will conspire to bring this lesson to him, again and again, until he peers through the illusions and makes a decision. It is my firm belief that we all can be "Champions" and that the full gifts and talents are already with our inner child/spirit/guide. All we need to do is to peer past the illusions and make a decision. By the way, Mark achieved 15th place in the Nationals. Maybe a few words here about the gifts of the inner spirit. Mark has, in my evaluation, a strong gift for flair. He sees impossible permutations and combinations that often leave me feeling dazed. He would, in my understanding, have heavy horse power in IQ. But a player he regularly beats in smaller tournaments got 3rd place at the Nationals. This guy has, in my evaluation, deep serenity and equanimity under intense pressure but lacks Mark's flair and imagination. I would say that Mark has something to learn from him. He has been given his gifts, now he has to acquire the others to complete him and help him to achieve his goals. It's all quite fair I feel. By the way, Mark's explanation of the results was "the other guy got lucky". So I guess we have to sit down to evaluate if that is the case and do that "reality" check. He just got back a few hours ago and is sleeping in. So this evaluation can waít. I've missed him and there are more important things than Chess... Raymond [ Back to top ] |
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